MENY
Sometimes I feel like I have failed. I feel like I should’ve learnt from my mistakes here in London and have a good life by now. But no, I must be the most unluckiest person ever.
I just came out of a really controlling and unhealthy relationship. I moved and now find myself in a new house with a landlady that snoop around my room and have a go at me for leaving my laundry in the machine for 5 min after it was done.
I still have no money and I only have a few friends, but good once so that is not the worst part of everything.
I just wish that I could find a place, that I could call home, feel safe in and actually get along with the people that I would live with. But I guess that is harder than it sounds.
So not only do I have this on my mind but I also have a guy on my mind, I probably shouldn’t get myself in any more drama, seeing that it has only been what? About 5 weeks since my ex broke up with me. I hope this guy doesn’t find this and read cause it would be to embarrassing and I am pretty sure that If he knew what I thought about everything he would take a step back and not see me anymore. It all started a week after my ex and I broke up. I came to this guys place cause I was upset and didn’t want to be alone, a couple films and drinks later I missed my bus and I stayed the night, one thing led to another and we now have a causal relationship. Problem is, that he makes me way to happy, safe and comfortable to just have it as sex. This is why I don’t want to tell him tho. He sometimes give me a cute smile saying that He hasn’t decided on what to do with me yet, I am not a hundred percent sure what this means, but I think it means that he knows something is there as well he just don’t know if he wants it or not.
So I am stuck in a house that I don’t like because I don’t have any money which I haven’t had in 3 years and I am in guy troubles just a month after I finished the first one…..
I need a holiday from my life, from myself.
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